Thursday, November 5, 2009

HW 17 - Outline suggestions

Chris:

Its good that you have the evidence you are going to use already planned out. It shows that you know what you want to focus on. i suggest that you do the first thesis because your arguments support that one the most. As for your intro i think you should introduce the advancement timeline of technology so the reader can get an understanding of why your topic is important .

also i think your paper would be stronger if you use more evidence that tie into your arguments, like other peoples blogs or movies you've seen( i know you always hit up that HBO channel) .

Anais:

i feel like this outline is too broad so i cant really get a strong feel of your topic and what you want to write about.

on the bright side i like that you have a good strong thesis now the rest of your worries should be trying to find enough evidence to back it up.

goodluckk.

No comments:

Post a Comment